The festive seasons usually translates to periods of increased contact with family members. It can be source of tremendous love and support for some, and an avenue for heightened expectations, stress and strife, especially in the extended family system where hidden competition and envy are lethal. I urge to read further following my brief introduction.
It’s a time that’s often met with as much dread as joy. For many, getting a big family together doesn’t always reflect the pretty picture we see in all the Thanksgiving and Christmas commercials.
In fact, it can feel downright overwhelming!
Will my mother-in-law judge my cooking again? Will that annoying uncle make another inappropriate comment? Will I have to deal with the tension between relatives?
5 Tapping Meditation tips for a wonderful holiday gathering:
1. Let Go of Expectations
You know those commercials we see of the ideal family laughing and passing the pumpkin pie? They’re actors! I hate to state the obvious, but we often have these unrealistic expectations, and the idea that things need to be perfect and run smoothly to have a good time.
So I’m here to break the news to you: that annoying uncle… he might never change. And it’s not your job to change him. That cousin who’s always late might be late again. You may drop the apple crumble you spent hours making on the floor (I did that once!).
When we let go of the expectation that things (and people) need to be perfect, we are able to see all there is to celebrate.
2. Heal the Buttons
I have one relative who I would always complain about because he had a way of pushing my buttons. Every year he’d make some comment about my weight. Even when he said, “You look like you lost weight,” I’d smile and say, “Thank you,” when internally I was screaming, “Can you please not make my body a topic of conversation?!”
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On – 12 Nov, 2016 By Jessica Ortner
12 Invaluable Enduring Hardship and Stress Lessons
There is no way to quite describe how debilitating it feels carrying a crushing load of stress and uncertainty. When we’re panicking it is nearly impossible to find workable or well considered solutions to our problems.
Feelings of stress are amongst the most frightening and powerful we experience along our path to success. Business is full of unfair situations, poor communication, deals gone bad, lies told, people underperforming, entitlement, loss of finances and other let downs. When we’re in these stressful times we can feel out of control, hurt, harsh levels of self-doubt, extreme sadness, anxiety, and fear, coupled with feeling powerless to change our circumstances. Yet, without these types of stressors, unfair situations, and less than honest or stellar people on our paths we would never grow into the powerful people we are destined to become.
1. Don’t repeat.
Never go back to what or who broke you. If people will do things once they will do it again. Follow the rule, betray me once shame on you, betray me twice shame on me. You cannot get water from a dry well. Learn when to cut ties and move on to something bigger, better and more worthy of your time and effort.
2. Time heals.
Stress and hardship, although not enjoyable, do pass and as time moves on, solutions come. It is only through a tremendous amount of patience that you are able to turn your terrors to triumphs. As time looms stagnant, make sure to focus on working hard and finding a level of acceptance for the situation you are in, and you will see that things begin to settle and work out; maybe not in the vision you had originally held, but many times things take directions which are even better for you.
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On – 20 Oct, 2016 By Sherrie Campbell
The strange psychology of stress and burnout
As a neonatal nurse, Jennifer Welker learned to thrive under stress.
Rather than allowing the pain of handling a sick infant to affect her, Welker deftly handled some of the most challenging moments in her career, and quickly moved on from difficult situations.
She credits her efficiency to the advantages of working under stress. Harnessing the innate pressure that came with her role, she says, improved her productivity and performance. Still, it was a fine line between harnessing the pressure and ignoring it altogether.
“I was almost too good at my job,” says Welker who would often have to spend time in the morgue. “I had become cold and callous because you have to emotionally withdraw from the moment.”
After some time, the stress involved in her work reached a tipping point and won out. She could neither control nor ignore it any longer.
I was almost too good at my job
“I saw a lot of death and people on their worst day – that weighs on you,” she said. Ultimately, she began to suffer from what is termed chronic stress. Symptoms can include anything from decreased immunity to sleep problems. She launched a jewellery business as a therapeutic outlet from the demands of nursing.
With her health beginning to suffer, Welker quit her job three years ago and turned to her jewellery business fulltime.
Finding the tipping point
Figuring out when stress goes from positive to negative is tricky. Chronic stress almost always means you’ll reach a tipping point, says Petti, which can harm your career.
That’s the opposite of stress that comes up only during the most nerve-wracking projects or busier times of the year, which eventually subsides without negative influences, explains Petti. It’s the long-term stress that will ultimately affect both your physical and mental wellbeing, with reactions that include heart palpitations, stomach problems and having trouble making decisions, he adds.
Most people fail to recognise the latter until it’s too late. “There’s a tendency to under-evaluate long term stress conditions,” Petti says.
So how do you become aware of your own tipping point once subjected to chronic stress? The answer may take some digging.
Previous experience can play a huge role in how you handle stress and deciphering your own personal tipping point, says Ron Bonnstetter, senior vice president of research and development at TTI Success Insights, which specialises in workplace performance in Scottsdale, Arizona in the US.
Dealing with stress over time can break down the body’s ability to deal with short bursts of stressful situations, he says. Stress affects workers based on previous experience, and symptoms can emerge as physical, emotional, cognitive or behavioural, according to TTI’s research.
“We haven’t isolated stress in the workplace,” says Bonnstetter. “We carry baggage from all aspects of our lives and our reaction can be [unpredictable] when some of those triggers occur.”
“Looking back, it’s easier to spot a tipping point”
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On – 17 Nov, 2016 By Alina Dizik
Compiled by ANDREW OKPETU